• Blackboard Line: I WILL NEVER WIN AN EMMY
• Special Guest Voices: George Harrison, David Crosby
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Additional Vocals By: The Dapper Dans (James Campbell & George Economou & Shelby Grimm & Dan Jordan)
• Written By: Jeff Martin
• Directed By: Mark Kirkland

• Blackboard Line: THE CAFETERIA DEEP FRYER IS NOT A TOY
• Special Guest Voice: Kelser Grammer
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Written By: Jon Vitti
• Directed By: Rich Moore

• Blackboard Line:
• Also Starring: Maggie Roswell
• Written By: Conan O'Brien
• Directed By: Jim Reardon

• Blackboard Line:
• Special Guest Voices: The Ramones (Joey Ramone & Johnny Ramone & Marky Ramone & CJ Ramone)
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Written By: John Swartzwelder
• Directed By: Wes Archer

• Blackboard Line: None
• Starring: Dysfunctional Dan Castellaneta, Jooooolie Kavner, Nasty Nancy Cartwright, Scabby Yeardley Smith, Boo! Boo! Scare Ya Hank Azaria, Frighticious Harry Shearer
• Special Guest Voice: Phil Hart-On-The Stick Man
• Also Starring: Pamela Hacksaw Hayden, Rancid Russi Taylor, Dr. Frankenwelker
• Written By: Watch Conan O'Brien & The Late Bill Oakley & The Estate of Josh Weinstein & Greg "It's Alive!" Daniels & Disfigured Dan McGrath & Bilious Bill Canterbury
• Directed By: David "Dry Bones" Silverman

• Blackboard Line:
• Special Guest Voices: George Fenneman, Phil Hartman, Pamela Reed
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
• Written By: Bill Canterbury
• Directed By: Mark Kirkland

• Blackboard Line:
• Special Guest Voices: James Brown, Phil Hartman, Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: A. Brooks, Pamela Hayden, Russi Taylor
• Written By: George Meyer
• Directed By: Bob Anderson

• Blackboard Line:
• Special Guest Voices: Ernest Borgnine, Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
• Written By: Dan McGrath
• Directed By: Jeffrey Lynch

• Blackboard Line: ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES BART A DULL BOY
• Special Guest Voices: Phil Hartman, Werner Klemperer, Michelle Pfeiffer, Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
• Written By: Frank Mula
• Directed By: Carlos Baeza

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT SAY "SPRINGFIELD" JUST TO GET APPLAUSE
• Special Guest Voices: Gerry Cooney, Robert Goulet, Phil Hartman
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Written By: Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein
• Directed By: Wes Archer

• Blackboard Line: I AM NOT AUTHORIZED TO FIRE SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS
• Special Guest Voice: Sam Neill
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Written By: John Swartzwelder
• Directed By: Jim Reardon

• Blackboard Line: MY HOMEWORK WAS NOT STOLEN BY A ONE-ARMED MAN
• Special Guest Voices: Conan O'Brien, Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
• Written By: John Swartzwelder
• Directed By: Susie Dietter

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT GO NEAR THE KINDERGARTEN TURTLE
• Special Guest Voice: James Woods
• Also Starring: Michael Carrington, Pamela Hayden
• Written By: Greg Daniels
• Directed By: Mark Kirkland

• Blackboard Line:
• Special Guest Voice: Kathleen Turner
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein
• Directed By: Jeffrey Lynch

• Blackboard Line:
• Special Guest Voices: Buzz Aldrin, James Taylor
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: David Mirkin
• Directed By: Carlos Baeza

• Blackboard Line: I AM NOT DELIGHTFULLY SAUCY
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: David Richardson
• Directed By: Wes Archer

• Blackboard Line: ORGAN TRANSPLANTS ARE BEST LEFT TO THE PROFESSIONALS
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: John Swartzwelder
• Directed By: Jim Reardon

• Blackboard Line: THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE DOES NOT END WITH HAIL SATAN
• Special Guest Voice: Phil Hartman
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Russi Taylor
• Written By: Jace Richdale
• Directed By: Mark Kirkland

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT CELEBRATE MEANINGLESS MILESTONES
• Special Guest Voice: Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Doris Grau, Pamela Hayden, Tress Macneille, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor, Frank Welker
• Written By: Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein
• Directed By: Bob Anderson

• Blackboard Line: THERE ARE PLENTY OF BUSINESSES LIKE SHOW BUSINESS
• Special Guest Voices: Phil Hartman, Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
• Written By: John Swartzwelder
• Directed By: Jeffrey Lynch

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT RE-TRANSMIT WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL
• Special Guest Voice: Phil Hartman
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Written By: Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein
• Directed By: Wes Archer

• Blackboard Line: FIVE DAYS IS NOT TOO LONG TO WAIT FOR A GUN
• Special Guest Voices: Phil Hartman, Marcie Wallace
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: Greg Daniels
• Directed By: Carlos Baeza