• Blackboard Line: BEANS ARE NEITHER FRUIT NOR MUSICAL
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
• Written By: Dan McGrath
• Directed By: Jim Reardon

• Blackboard Line: NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN MY UNDERPANTS
• Special Guest Voice: Winona Ryder
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
• Written By: Mike Scully
• Directed By: Mark Kirkland

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT USE ABBREV.
• Special Guest Voices: A. Brooks, Sara Gilbert, Kelsey Grammar, Phil Hartman, Jon Lovitz, Michelle Pfeiffer, Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Michael Carrington
• Written By: Penny Wise
• Directed By: David Silverman

• Blackboard Line: I AM NOT THE REINCARNATION OF SAMMY DAVIS JR.
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: John Swartzwelder
• Directed By: Wes Archer

• Blackboard Line:
• Special Guest Voices: Dr. Demento, Kelsey Grammer, Phil Hartman, Larry King, Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Henry Corden, Pamela Hayden
• Written By: Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein
• Directed By: Mark Kirkland

• Blackboard Line: None
• Starring: Ro-Dan Castellaneta, Jooooolie Kavner, Nancy Heart-Fright, Grave Yeardley Smith, The Shaws-Hank Azaria, Harry (O.J.) Shearer
• Special Guest Voices: James Earl Boggins Jones, Macabre Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Demonic Doris Grau, Pamela Poltergeist Hayden, Rancid Russi Taylor
• Written By: Count Greg Danula & Dearly Departed Dan McGrath & David Cohen's Severed Hand & Blob Kushell
• Directed By: Jaundiced Jim Reardon

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT SEND LARD THROUGH THE MAIL
• Special Guest Voice: Meryl Streep
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: Jonathan Collier
• Directed By: Susie Dietter

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT DISSECT THINGS UNLESS INSTRUCTED
• Special Guest Voice: Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Tress MacNeille, Russi Taylor
• Written By: Mike Scully
• Directed By: Bob Anderson

• Blackboard Line: I WILL WHITTLE HALL PASSES OUT OF SOAP
• Special Guest Voice: Dennis Franz
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Tress MacNeille
• Written By: Greg Daniels
• Directed By: Jeff Lynch
• Rock Bottom corrections: "Peoples' Choice Award" is America's greatest honor
  Styrofoam is not made from kittens
  The U.F.O. was a paper plate
  The nerds on the internet are not geeks
  The word "cheese" is not funny in and of itself
  The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod
  Lyndon Johnson did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam
  If you are reading this you have no life
  Roy Rogers was not buried inside his horse
  The other U.F.O. was an upside-down salad spinner
  Our universities are not "hotbeds" of anything
  Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes
  Our viewers are not pathetic sexless food tubes
  Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds
  The "Cheers" gang is not a real gang
  Salt water does not "chase the thirsties away"
  Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger
  Cats do not eventually turn into dogs
  Bullets do not bounce off of fat guys
  Recycling does not deplete the ozone
  Everything is 10% fruit juice
  The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream
  Janet Reno is evil
  V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline
  Ted Koppel is a robot
  Women aren't from Venus and men aren't from Mars
  Fleiss does floss
  Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures
  Bart is bad to the bone
  Godfrey Jones' wife is cheating on him
  The Beatles haven't reunited to enter kick boxing competitions
  The "Bug" on your TV screen can see into your home
  Everyone on TV is better than you
  The people who are writing this have no life

• Blackboard Line: MY HOMEWORK WAS NOT STOLEN BY A ONE-ARMED MAN
• Special Guest Voice: Phil Hartman
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein
• Directed By: Wes Archer

• Blackboard Line: RALPH WON'T "MORPH" IF YOU SQUEEZE HIM HARD ENOUGH
• Special Guest Voices: Ted Danson, Woody Harrelson, Rhea Perlman, John Ratzenberger, George Wendt
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Written By: David Sacks
• Directed By: Mark Kirkland

• Blackboard Line: ADDING "JUST KIDDING" DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY TO INSULT THE PRINCIPAL
• Special Guest Voice: Patrick Stewart
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: John Swartzwelder
• Directed By: Jim Reardon

• Blackboard Line: "BAGMAN" IS NOT A LEGITIMATE CAREER CHOICE
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: Jennifer Crittenden
• Directed By: Swinton O. Scott III

• Blackboard Line: CURSIVE WRITING DOES NOT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT DOES
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: John Swartzwelder
• Directed By: Bob Anderson

• Blackboard Line: NEXT TIME IT COULD BE ME ON THE SCAFFOLDING
• Special Guest Voices: Dick Cavett, Joe Mantegna, Johnny Unitas
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Written By: John Swartzwelder
• Directed By: David Silverman

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT HANG DONUTS ON MY PERSON
• Special Guest Voice: Phil Hartman
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Written By: Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein
• Directed By: Wes Archer

• Blackboard Line: I WILL REMEMBER TO TAKE MY MEDICATION
• Special Guest Voices: Mel Brooks, Susan Sarandon
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden
• Written By: Brent Forrester
• Directed By: Mark Kirkland

• Blackboard Line:
• Special Guest Voices: Jon Lovitz, Phil Hartman, Maurice LaMarche
• Also Starring: Doris Grau, Pamela Hayden
• Written By: Ken Keeler
• Directed By: Susie Dietter

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT STRUT AROUND LIKE I OWN THE PLACE
• Special Guest Voices: Phil Hartman, Mandy Patinkin
• Also Starring: Doris Grau, Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: Greg Daniels
• Directed By: Jim Reardon

• Blackboard Line: THE GOOD HUMOR MAN CAN ONLY BE PUSHED SO FAR
• Special Guest Voice: Frank Welker
• Also Starring: Tress MacNeille
• Written By: Mike Scully
• Directed By: Bob Anderson

• Blackboard Line: I DO NOT HAVE POWER OF ATTORNEY OVER FIRST GRADERS
• Special Guest Voice: Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Doris Grau, Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
• Written By: Jennifer Crittenden
• Directed By: Swinton O. Scott III

• Blackboard Line: NERVE GAS IS NOT A TOY
• Special Guest Voices: Ron Taylor, Steve Allen, Phil Hartman, Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Doris Grau, Pamela Hayden
• Teleplay By: Joshua Sternin & Jeffrey Ventimilia
• Story By: Mike Reiss & Al Jean
• Directed By: Steven Dean Moore

• Blackboard Line: I WILL NOT MOCK MRS. DUMBFACE
• Special Guest Voices: Phil Hartman, Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Tress MacNeille, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: Jonathan Collier
• Directed By: Mark Kirkland

• Blackboard Line: THE FIRST AMMENDENT DOES NOT COVER BURPING
• Special Guest Voice: Marcia Wallace
• Also Starring: Pamela Hayden, Tress MacNeille, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor
• Written By: Brent Forrester
• Directed By: Jim Reardon

• Blackboard Line: THIS IS NOT A CLUE... OR IS IT?
• Special Guest Voice: Tito Puente
• Also Starring: Doris Grau, Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
• Written By: Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein
• Directed By: Jeffrey Lynch